I like this option better. The text could be a bit smaller and tighter. I would try and find something more significant about the image, but try not to inflate it too much. Maybe you could talk about how you felt standing in Burnham's shoes or make a story about what Burnham would think if he stood there today. I just don't think people will want to hear about the technological essence of a mechanical pencil, plus we know what Burnham did, but what does it mean to you? They probably wont read anyways, but it can't hurt.
I agree with Jon about the text size and so on. Also, the essence of the mechanical pencil thing I agree could either be reformulated or taken out. It might give some of these places the wrong idea of what you are trying to say. For instance I don't know if you are applying to UPenn, but they rely and are somewhat obsessed with technology. So they might get the wrong idea. And then also, on the Daniel Burnham part you kindof float aroudn specifics. You mention his great accomplishments and the exhibition and America's reputation...but can you be more specific what this may have done for the U.S./Chicago/Architecture. Why were his visions so interesting? And I also do think there could be something interesting about your point of view...because this is not just a drawing you duplicated, we fricken got to stand up there! Nice drawing by the way Docken! I am excited to see more!
I like this option better. The text could be a bit smaller and tighter. I would try and find something more significant about the image, but try not to inflate it too much. Maybe you could talk about how you felt standing in Burnham's shoes or make a story about what Burnham would think if he stood there today. I just don't think people will want to hear about the technological essence of a mechanical pencil, plus we know what Burnham did, but what does it mean to you? They probably wont read anyways, but it can't hurt.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jon about the text size and so on. Also, the essence of the mechanical pencil thing I agree could either be reformulated or taken out. It might give some of these places the wrong idea of what you are trying to say. For instance I don't know if you are applying to UPenn, but they rely and are somewhat obsessed with technology. So they might get the wrong idea. And then also, on the Daniel Burnham part you kindof float aroudn specifics. You mention his great accomplishments and the exhibition and America's reputation...but can you be more specific what this may have done for the U.S./Chicago/Architecture. Why were his visions so interesting? And I also do think there could be something interesting about your point of view...because this is not just a drawing you duplicated, we fricken got to stand up there! Nice drawing by the way Docken! I am excited to see more!
ReplyDelete